My aunt raised me and my cousin in an entirely different manner despite living in the same household. Gender wasn’t just a part of your identity, it also defined the limitations and freedoms you possessed.
It seems that being born in a woman’s body meant being warranted involuntary servitude and submission. Of course, this is justified by the reasoning that this aspect of child-rearing comes from the need for safety and good intentions.
“Anak siyempre, babae ka… baka mapahamak ka pa diyan, yung kuya mo lalaki yan, kayang kaya niya yan”.
I was told to never cross the boundaries set before me as a person born as a woman because this not only meant forsaking my family’s reputation but also society’s acceptance.
The rigid adherence to stereotypical gender roles can have negative consequences in childhood and beyond, as these stereotypes can limit children's educational and occupational aspirations, perceived academic competency, emotional expression, and social development.
How many implements of shame should I hold against myself?
Not only did this amplify the brewing rivalry and hatred I had for my cousin, but it made me hate my aunt even more for correlating his incompetence as a natural aspect of his gender. And not something she had failed to raise out of her own son.